An Awful Argument for the Legalization of Marijuana

I had to write a paper and deconstruct an argument. The only thing is that we have to answer horribly against this argument. This is what I came up with and can't stop laughing at either. Hope you enjoy! I know I did.
 (P.S. No shit about being a hypocrite. I'm still true, but this was too funny NOT to post.)
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Obviously, marijuana is something that should be treasured. Of course it helps people with medical conditions. I mean, those damn Republicans just don’t know any better. They hate anybody who tries to think outside of the conservative box once in awhile and they just try to get back at us liberals because they are jealous that they can’t really act like us, free. We liberals stand up for what we think the government is wrongfully doing because if we don’t, those abortion hating bastards will take over and Sarah Palin will rule forever!....

I don’t know what everyone’s problem with marijuana is. It has been used for centuries by people from all over the world! It’s been used to reach the divine and connect to a deeper spirituality. That is good for anyone, regardless of their religious affiliation and health condition. If people, who have been using it for centuries, are saying that this stuff is good for you, I think we should take their advice! They know much more than Western medicine practitioners ever could because this stuff has been handed down for centuries!....

Obviously famous people have smoked weed before and their word about is that it’s good for your health, mentally and spiritually. Bob Marley for instance has said that, “When you smoke the herb, it reveals you to yourself.” Obviously, being a famous and beloved reggae singer, we should take his advice. Everyone should want to know more about themselves and marijuana is a good way to do it.  Bob Marley is an idol for people who smoke weed and anybody who just is a chill kind of person. Anybody would benefit from his example.....

The governor in California, Arnold Schwarzenegger, knows what all of us good fighting people mean when we say that marijuana should be legalized. He was one of the first people in the United States to legalize it! He is a good guy! He is the greatest guy because he also stands up for gay marriage! And that is amazing! If somebody who has the balls to stand up to the oppression of people who are against something so good, they are on my team! Look at Kung Fu Panda Po! He totally showed all those weirdo’s how to do kung-fu. Even though his back was up against the wall, and nobody believed in him, he still held his ground and showed all those kung-fu “masters” to stick there heads up their asses!....

Marijuana makes everyone cooler and nicer too. If everyone on Earth smoked weed, there would be no wars or crime. There would be no money, because money is evil and weed takes the evil out of you, medical experts generally agree on. They also agree that marijuana is great for people who have just come back from war. It takes away their stress and makes them feel happy! And happy people don’t get stressed out! Think about all the wars and stuff all of us have gone through. Our great ancestors wouldn’t have had to suffer if they had all just sat around and smoked weed together. It could’ve solved all of our problems!....

Without a world of marijuana, I would hate to think of the world my children will live in. I shudder to know that everyone will be stressed out and angry all the time. Violence will roam the streets everywhere we look. Rapes and murders will occur every day and more frequently then we could ever imagine. The President won’t be able to handle it and he’ll have to go into hiding. Then, the CIA won’t be able to handle it so then they will kill themselves of stress and fear. All of us will be roaming around like animals, trying to protect our young and find food, like the caveman days. Instead of going forward into the future of this country, we will be going backwards! All of us will start eating each other and cannibalism will be how the human species dies. By not smoking weed, the human species will perish!....